IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environmental of our time is the loss of particular of plants and animals. Others say that are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many people argue that the most significant environmental issue of our time is the loss of plant and animal species.
However
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, others complain that the problems,
such
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 as climate change and
pollution
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, are more pressing concerns.
This
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 essay will examine the key drivers of
this
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 trend and state my own opinion
at the end
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. On one hand, the loss of
plants
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 and wildlife is indeed important, but the biggest concern is that purified
air
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 and water are important for all species. Not having purified
air
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 and water can harm our lives.
For instance
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, many changes in extreme weather can harm
plants
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, and having high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
pollution
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 in the
air
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 can
therefore
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 harm human beings and animals.
Air
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pollution
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 has led to many respiration diseases.
On the other hand
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, the loss of biodiversity is seen by many as the main issue.
Plants
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 and wildlife play an important role in maintaining the balance in the ecosystem.
For example
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, bees help the environment by pollinating the
plants
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. When they collect nectar from flowers, they spread pollen, which helps them grow.
Moreover
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,
this
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 is important as it helps them produce fruits, vegetables, and flowers that we need. In conclusion, animals play a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature, helping to grow food.
Nevertheless
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, with climate change and
pollution
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 threatening the ecosystem, it’s more important than ever to protect these creatures. By addressing these global issues, we can ensure the survival of all creatures and
also
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 the health of nature.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets up the discussion well. However, it would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement regarding your personal opinion.
task achievement
Some points in your essay could be elaborated further for clarity, particularly the specific examples of pollution's impact on humans and wildlife.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are generally well-structured, but ensuring a stronger link between ideas could enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Try to avoid vague statements. Instead, be specific about which aspects of climate change and pollution are most concerning in relation to biodiversity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a more decisive opinion or recommendation in your conclusion to strengthen the impact of your writing.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledged both sides of the argument which shows critical thinking and awareness of different perspectives.
task achievement
The explanations you provided about the role of bees in the ecosystem were insightful and added depth to your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • species extinction
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • habitat loss
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainability
  • conservation efforts
  • natural resources
  • threatened species
  • ecosystem services
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable resources
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