Some people think that public health is a the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

It's thought that the government is supposed to be responsible for public health issues. Other people take the opposite view that it's their own responsibility. In my opinion, no one should be in charge of my health except me, because it's my personal concern.
This
essay will discuss both points of view until the final decision is made. On the one hand, there are some points which the government should be aware of.
Firstly
, the local authorities are to supply hospitals and inns with a current range of medicine and medical equipment. Citizens need to be sure that their physical problems can be solved in the right way. Poor treatment can lead to deaths and bad diagnostics can ruin someone's life.
For example
, South Africa is regarded as one of the most dangerous countries in the world, because of the lack of appropriate conditions and cure methods,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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results in lethal cases,
although
there are a lot of specialists.
Secondly
, there must be strict measures
for avoiding
Change preposition
to avoid
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mass infection spread. If the authority
takes
Correct your spelling
makes
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the right decisions on time, it can save millions of lives.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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China as an example and their quarantine
block downs
Correct your spelling
blockdowns
that made
this
country
to be
Verb problem
apply
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the first to defeat Covid 19.
On the other hand
,
peoples'
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people's
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duty to protect themselves from problems must be taken for granted. There are various ways to stay fit in our
brand modern
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brand-modern
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world. A healthy diet,
for instance
, can prevent some illnesses connected with the digestive system and obesity. Personal hygiene and safety tips are good
assistants
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assistance
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in times of pandemics. And
finally
, if the person is opposed to bad habits, fast food and an inactive lifestyle, he or she can guarantee a future for themselves and their families. In conclusion,
while
there are some important issues that must be paid attention to by the
politics
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politicians
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, inhabitants should be more attentive to their lives. In my opinion, if you want to live a longer and happier life, you ought to be careful to follow simple rules to survive.
Submitted by karinaarifullina89 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument (government responsibility vs personal responsibility) to strengthen the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented; however, provide more explicit links between paragraphs for smoother transitions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
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