Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Many individuals advocate that with the upsurge of globalization, the ministry is the lead cause behind the rapid influx in childhood obesity. From my standpoint, I believe that the government is accountable for
this
negative phenomenon, which will be elaborated with applicable instances. Westernization has opened a plethora of opportunities for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed and developing nations. From introducing famous fast food joints and stylised trends to various employment offers.
However
,
this
comes at a price. Several restaurants are making younglings and adults overweight - which is driving them vulnerable to innumerable
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
issues including diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and osteoarthritis. A study conducted by WHO (World Health Organization) in 2016, stated that the US and China had a high estimate of Obesity amongst the youth aged 6- 14 years by exactly 75 million and 84 million, respectively. Whereas, the remaining countries' results varied to approximately 40 - 49 million. The food and beverages organisations, advertising their delectable yet harmful products lure kids to purchase them.
For example
, in India, the famous
fast food
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
chain - Mcdonalds, is known to sell their "Happy Meals' ' for just Rs. 20 INR. The affordable prices attract a larger target audience, which enhances the economy of the organisation making it a booming success.
Instead
of a
nutrient enriched
Add a hyphen
nutrient-enriched
show examples
diet, young people turn to meals with excessive carbohydrates.
Furthermore
, ever since the pandemic strike,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
of work from home is considered to be another major factor contributing to
this
deadly condition. Jobs have remote roles, schools are shifted to online platforms and shopping has been digitized. All these tasks require minimal movement, meaning everything can be done from one place without stepping out of one's comfort zone. Online Education, which consists of assignment completion and teaching via video calling applications, is one of the reasons for children's increasing body mass. Earlier, when these academic institutions were open, the student's physical presence and allotted breaks helped them get the required cardio working that their bodies needed. In a recent experiment, conducted by NFHS - National Family Health Survey Delhi - it was observed that almost 40% of the individuals come under the category of overweight, during the ongoing lockdown period. The young crowd has become lethargic and are exhausted if they slightly work out. To summarise, though the country's parliament is the main culprit behind
this
hazardous situation amongst the younger population, suitable actions are being implemented. Global awareness pertaining to
this
issue can have profitable gains for both the nation and its upcoming generation.
Submitted by srishtisirohi98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: