Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. Others, however, think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today,

people

Use synonyms

have different views on should dangerous

sports

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be banned.

While

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unsafe

sports

Use synonyms

could bring serious risks or accidents to

people

Use synonyms

, I think that freedom is

also

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a part of

people

Use synonyms

’s lives. On the one hand, there are several reasons why someone thinks hazardous

sports

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cannot be acceptable. Some extreme exercises like skiing, bungee jumping and free rock climbing can bring a high risk of accidental, sometimes causing the death of

people

Use synonyms

. The main responsibility of society is to keep citizens safe. If dangerous behaviour is acceptable in public, it may increase the public healthcare resources and

also

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it will cause financial and emotional stress to a family.

Additionally

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, the forbiddance of

sports

Use synonyms

can avoid unnecessary events for the citizens and reduce the tragedy in the world.

On the other hand

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, the freedom of

people

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to choose any

exercise

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they wish to do is

also

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essential. Extreme

exercise

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can improve the confidence and satisfaction of

people

Use synonyms

for example

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, if a person reaches the peak of a mountain, he will feel very successful, which helps him to release stress and escape the reality of life.

In addition

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, some

sports

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also

Linking Words

could enhance the spirit of teamwork,

otherwise

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, if these

sports

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are banned by the government, it may lead to less enthusiasm in

people

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to their lives.

Moreover

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, each person has their own lifestyle, including how to play,

exercise

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or have fun. If they wish to afford the dangers brought by the

exercise

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therefore

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government shouldn’t interfere with their being. In conclusion, in my opinion, I would like to mention that

while

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the dangers of

exercise

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can bring accidents, forbiddance of all extreme activities may not be a better solution for these.

By contrast

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, I believe that safety education and strict safety standards can reduce the risks, we need to respect the freedom of choice of individuals. To balance both of these views can satisfy the various needs of society.

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Aug 10, 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and typos, such as 'should' instead of 'should be' in the introduction.

task achievement

Enhance your argument with more specific examples and evidence to further strengthen your points. This will provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each idea is developed within its own paragraph to improve clarity and coherence. For example, separating the points about confidence-building, teamwork, and freedom into distinct paragraphs could help.

coherence and cohesion

Check for any repetitive phrases or ideas that could be streamlined or combined to enhance readability. Reiterations should be minimized.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is structured well with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of thoughts.

task achievement

You have effectively presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, which demonstrates a complete response to the task.

task achievement

The main points are supported with relevant examples, like the reference to specific sports and their benefits. This adds depth to your discussion.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prohibit
autonomy
adrenaline rush
resilience
subjective
informed decision
extreme sports
hazardous
regulation
legislation
thrill-seeking
risk assessment
safety measures
protective gear
inherent risks

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