Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. Others, however, think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Today,
people
have different views on should dangerous sports
be banned. While
unsafe sports
could bring serious risks or accidents to people
, I think that freedom is also
a part of people
’s lives.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why someone thinks hazardous sports
cannot be acceptable. Some extreme exercises like skiing, bungee jumping and free rock climbing can bring a high risk of accidental, sometimes causing the death of people
. The main responsibility of society is to keep citizens safe. If dangerous behaviour is acceptable in public, it may increase the public healthcare resources and also
it will cause financial and emotional stress to a family. Additionally
, the forbiddance of sports
can avoid unnecessary events for the citizens and reduce the tragedy in the world.
On the other hand
, the freedom of people
to choose any exercise
they wish to do is also
essential. Extreme exercise
can improve the confidence and satisfaction of people
, for example
, if a person reaches the peak of a mountain, he will feel very successful, which helps him to release stress and escape the reality of life. In addition
, some sports
also
could enhance the spirit of teamwork, otherwise
, if these sports
are banned by the government, it may lead to less enthusiasm in people
to their lives. Moreover
, each person has their own lifestyle, including how to play, exercise
or have fun. If they wish to afford the dangers brought by the exercise
, therefore
government shouldn’t interfere with their being.
In conclusion, in my opinion, I would like to mention that while
the dangers of exercise
can bring accidents, forbiddance of all extreme activities may not be a better solution for these. By contrast
, I believe that safety education and strict safety standards can reduce the risks, we need to respect the freedom of choice of individuals. To balance both of these views can satisfy the various needs of society.Submitted by 57025371 on
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task achievement
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and typos, such as 'should' instead of 'should be' in the introduction.
task achievement
Enhance your argument with more specific examples and evidence to further strengthen your points. This will provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each idea is developed within its own paragraph to improve clarity and coherence. For example, separating the points about confidence-building, teamwork, and freedom into distinct paragraphs could help.
coherence and cohesion
Check for any repetitive phrases or ideas that could be streamlined or combined to enhance readability. Reiterations should be minimized.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured well with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of thoughts.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, which demonstrates a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, like the reference to specific sports and their benefits. This adds depth to your discussion.
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