IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think advantages of charging people for a museum outweigh disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #museum
Nowadays, while some museums can be visited free of charge, others require an entrance
fee
 to be paid. I firmly believe that the advantages of
this
 tendency are greater than the disadvantages and will speculate about my viewpoint in the forthcoming paragraphs. There are two main benefits of charging a certain sum of money. One of them is that the
fee
 allows maintaining the conditions of exponents and the building itself which in the long-term future ensures the presence of all the precious objects in the
museum
, including artworks, statues and books. Another equally significant advantage of charging the
fee
 is directly linked to safety. The
fee
, as small as it can be, ensures safety since it is usually spent on the installation of cameras and other technological appliances aimed to preserve the building from rubbers. Providing that the system is sufficient enough, diminishes the number of rubbery acts,
therefore
 making the
museum
 a safer place to spend pastime .
In addition
 to
this
, the
museum
 that requires some money to enter is less likely to be affected by vandalized people.
In other words
, those who are considered to be potentially hazardous would not pay anything and
thus
, the
museum
 will be visited only by open-minded people who will not even ponder over damaging exponents or making noise. Taking into account everything stated above, I can deduce that at least a small amount of money should be paid in order to maintain the
museum
 and make it safe for the visitors.
Submitted by iroisaeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: