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Band 7.5

Nowadays online education has become popular as more institutes and companies are offering courses online. However, many people prefer the traditional, classroom training or study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods.

#education #institutes #companies #courses #people #classroom #study #methods
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These days, the main system of
education
 that a number of educational places and businesses use is online courses;
in contrast
, a group of the population think that physical types of
classes
 are better.
while
 online
classes
 have a range of demerits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the merits. On the one hand, the benefits of online
education
 are so varied.
Firstly
, global students, who do not have a access to good
education
, are able to go to beneficial
classes
 without migrations and spend a great deal of money on transportation and accommodation in other international areas.
Secondly
, the metropolises' inhabitants are reduced inasmuch as the figure of people who immigrate to big cities to go to university or learn new skills can stay in their town and learn new subjects that they need.
on the other hand
, studying in not real
classes
 has several drawbacks. On the one side, if you go to the class, you see new people and you interact with them; in fact, communities' social behaviour improves;
additionally
, they can find friends who help them with the class homework. On the other sides, when students study in the class, they should focus on the lessons not unimportant facts.
In other words
, people see the teacher and are accurate to presentations carefully
instead
 of playing games in online courses.
To sum up
, In my opinion, the good points of the online systems can eclipse the bad points on account of the fact that online courses are helpful items for declining the citizens of urban regions and enhancing the
education
 system for all students.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points, be cautious of slight oversights in grammar that might distract the reader. Aim for a more seamless transition between paragraphs to enhance cohesiveness.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response by addressing both advantages and disadvantages, which is great. However, try to include more detailed examples to support your main points, which can further illustrate your understanding and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents both perspectives clearly and gives a fair opinion on online and traditional education.
task achievement
Your conclusion nicely ties back to the overall argument presented in the introduction, showing consistency in your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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