IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, school are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#countries #school #children #parents #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The academic institutions in a few parts of the world have extended opening hours to support
children
 whose
parents
 are occupied in full-time professions. Even though, there are many benefits due to the above practice few adverse consequences
also
 remains. In a world full of chaos and uncertainties ,
children
 are been
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
prime victims.
Schools
 taking of
children
 may give assurance for
parents
 in terms of security.
For instance
, Canadian
parents
 have the freedom to work multiple jobs with the help of service centres in
schools
.
Additionally
, another positive outcome is the risk of exposure to an unfriendly neighbourhood will be mitigated. To elaborate , a survey by the US crime department says that most teenagers whose
parents
 at work tend to involve in unethical malpractice being part of criminals around their vicinity. After the inception of daycare options in ,
schools
 the minor age crime rates dropped significantly .
On the other hand
, the exorbitant cost charged for
this
 service is the main disadvantage. Only the elite families can accommodate these types of care services, while average income earners may suffer heavy financial loss.
For example
, during a social media interview, a single parent of two
children
 complained sadly that the daycare services consume the majority of her paycheck.
Furthermore
, relationships between blood relatives will diminish among youngsters.
Children
 are mostly attraction seekers and loss of interaction between
parents
 may lead them to mental suffering . To illustrate, its clinically proven that depression and anxiety are caused because of early childhood relationship gaps between the family. In conclusion ,
schools
 are aiding society by safeguarding them from being driven into dangerous paths
such
 as committing a criminal offence and being subject to abuse.
However
, the expensive price for the provided service and relationship dilemmas in youngsters are the main negative impacts.
Submitted by elmorajamani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: