IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #mothers #fathers #course #parents
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Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good
parents
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. Do you agree or disagree? In recent times, parenting and upbringing have become challenging roles, especially with new perspectives and different styles of parenting. Proponents argue that caregivers should undertake courses that will equip them to be good role models for their
children
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. I support
this
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 point of view as it will promote a healthy generation. In
this
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 essay, I will delve into the main reasons for supporting
this
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 opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, upbringing and taking care of
children
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 is not an easy job as it requires a lot of tolerance and continuous learning.
In other words
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,
parents
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 should have the ability to face challenges and address them with awareness. These challenges are unpredictable and require well-rounded and educated
parents
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 to effectively overcome them.
For
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this
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 reason, caregivers should take different classes that will empower them to adopt suitable solutions and encourage them to consistently reflect on their parenting styles, especially since some
parents
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 rely on religious teachings or other people’s experiences that may not be applicable to their lives or their
children
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's personalities.
Moreover
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, these educational programs will assist
parents
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 in identifying various practices and understanding their effects on
children
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.
For example
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, in the past, mothers and fathers used methods
such
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 as physical discipline to correct
behavior
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behaviour
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 and
instill
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instil
show examples
 moral values, neglecting their
children
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’s well-being and emotions. These principles led to weakened parent-child relationships and fostered a sense of disconnection.
Overall
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,
after
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this
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 essay has manifested the mentioned points, it can be reiterated that parenting programs can combat the illiteracy of caregivers and stimulate a healthy generation. I am convinced that these initiatives will contribute positively to our society.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and presenting a clear position on the topic. However, further examples and depth of analysis would enhance the strength of your arguments. Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning a particular study or expert opinion about the benefits of parenting courses could make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, improving the use of transitional phrases could offer smoother connections between your ideas. Try incorporating phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' 'For instance,' and 'Consequently' to make transitions more seamless. This will help improve the logical flow and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and states your position clearly. It engages the reader and provides a roadmap for your essay. This is very effective for capturing the reader’s interest and providing a clear direction for your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Your points are well-stated and show a strong understanding of the topic. This makes your essay focused and ensures that each paragraph contributes meaningfully to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • crucial skills
  • personal growth
  • parenting styles
  • autonomy
  • financial and logistical barriers
  • implement
  • undermine
  • experience
  • cultural differences
What to do next:
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