Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

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It is true that in the contemporary epoch, people are not safe either inside their safe boundaries or outside. In the below paragraphs, I will elaborate on the main causes for the increase in crime rate and the possible solutions to alleviate the problem.

Firstly

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, with the upsurge in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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cut-throat competition and the unemployment rise in society, the crime rate has increased tremendously. The incidents of burglary,

scamming

Correct word choice

and scamming

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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exponentially risen with

the

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apply

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online platforms.

As a result

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, by staying inside the bosom and browsing different sites, we provide our contact details which later become easily accessible by hackers. To illustrate, recently my neighbour was victimized by an online friend and ended up losing thousands of rupees in a fraction of

Correct article usage

a seconds

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seconds

Fix the agreement mistake

second

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by scanning the wrong barcode provided by gimmicks.

Furthermore

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, when everyone is rushing to reach their destinations, we hear mundane news of tragic accidents and people lose their precious ones in seconds. In order to mitigate the problems, the government should come up with stricter cybercrime laws to create fear amongst

the

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apply

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hackers and

the

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apply

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other lawbreakers. More surveillance cameras should be

instilled

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installed

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in public places so that theft and robbery can be easily tracked.

Additionally

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, more stringent policies should be amended for breaking the traffic rules. The scrutiny of vehicles breaking traffic rules and penalizing them will create fear

amongst

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among

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transgressors.

As a result

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, humans will abide by the laws and there will be

lesser

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fewer

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road accidents.

Moreover

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, the government should

also

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come up with programs to create employment so that hunger does not bring

crimes

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crime

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to society. In conclusion, people should be more vigilant and disciplined towards their safety both indoors and outdoors.

Submitted by nehajaiswal4220 on Sun Mar 20 2022

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task response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task, and that the ideas are relevant, supported, and well-developed.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear and consistent organizational structure, using cohesive devices to link ideas and create coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think it is important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think the the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, instead of benefiting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

A big salary is more important than job satisfaction? Do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?