IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.
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the bar charts
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 information about the rating of rain in warm desert grassland for both
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1980 and 2000.
overall
Linking Words
,
rain
Correct article usage
the rain
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 average across two years
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was
Correct article usage
a significant
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significant
Change the word
significantly
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 variation. there was both of decreasing and increasing in all months of the term. first of all, the shower pattern
exhibit
Correct subject-verb agreement
exhibits
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 diversity in order to
foremest
Correct your spelling
foremost
 paragraph; that was sharply rose around 340
mm
Use synonyms
 in March in 1980.
while
Linking Words
follow
Change the form of the verb
following
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 to fall down dramatically through 4 months until January about 160
mm
Use synonyms
.
then
Linking Words
, percentages changed from April up to December by slightly grew and stood axpermitaly 260
mm
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 breadth. in 2000, there was instability growth throughout all months. In July,August and November, the rating of rain
steady
Change the word
steadily
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 peak which
stand
Change the verb form
stands
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 on 53
mm
Use synonyms
. as same
as
Change preposition
apply
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, compared to January, May and June
were
Change the verb form
also similarly soared
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also
Linking Words
similarly
Linking Words
 soar to 51
mm
Use synonyms
. after that, the
estimate
Change the verb form
estimated
show examples
 trend declined
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 49
mm
Use synonyms
 which was
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 average to September.
At the end
Linking Words
 of
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
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 span relating to 2000; that merely shown was
distinction
Correct article usage
a distinction
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 direction in February to 40
mm
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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