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Band 5.5

social media or the internet promoting communication are you with or against ?

#media #internet #communication
It is undeniable that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 plays a pivotal role in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world . there are some
people
 who propose bonds and communication between each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 are strengthened by the internet innumerable applications , I agree with
this
 notion . In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 some ideas that support my opinion will be discussed thoroughly .
To begin
 with , social
media
 provides a platform for
people
 to argue local and international issues and share their political opinions ,
accordingly
 influencing the political
decision makers
Add a hyphen
decision-makers
show examples
 . Even though some of the opinions that are shared are scams , the majority represent the real attitude and directions of the communities using those online services
For example
 , in 2011, the Egyptian revolution , which was against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
injustice in the country , was
initially
 provoked by activists on the social
media
 who were motivating citizens to protest in the streets against
unfairness
Add an article
the unfairness
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 of the circumstances.
Moreover
 , social
media
 can enhance
remote
Add an article
the remote
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 between
people
 worldwide . Folks across the globe can connect with anyone through social
media
 various forums and share their own thoughts, photographs and life experiences ;
consequently
 , users of these platforms can find countless like-minded friends and network with them . Not only do these connections help to make new friends but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
also
 offer great employment opportunities .
This
 can be illustrated by the model of Meta online company which offers several services for their participating individuals , whether those individuals want to strengthen bonds with friends and families or they are essentially investigating new jobs ,
this
 company supplies them with all platforms needed . In conclusion , owing to the indispensable benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of improving communication between different societies as well as providing their reviews about their countries’ political situation , I completely agree that online connections are of paramount importance ;
however
 ,
people
 should not rely wholly on them and maintain the traditional approaches of in-person meetings.
Submitted by dentistmargo on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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