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Band 4.5

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

#overpopulation #centres #world
Nowadays,it is common to see
migration
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the migration
a migration
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 of people in urban
areas
.It has been observed that overpopulation in cities
are
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is
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 becoming
major
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a major
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 problem in the world.There are several reasons for
such
 a situation and some primitive steps can be taken to overcome
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 issues.
To begin
 with, out of all the foremost is the high wages. To explain it, the metropolis has lots of jobs opportunities as compared to the village. For the better salary individuals choose to stay in
city
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the city
show examples
.Where can get jobs as well as good wages
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
, data has concluded that in India every year 1 million,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are moved
in
Change preposition
to
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 urban
areas
 from tribal
areas
. Another one is
better
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a better
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 lifestyle as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education. To explicate it,
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
 offers many
facilities
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good colleges and schools.Students can consume better knowledge .
Also
 Like the gym, restaurants, malls can entertain people.
Hence
, the public migrated to
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
such
 as reasons.
However
, some measures are can be taken to solve
this
 problem.
Fristy
Correct your spelling
Frosty
, development of
village
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the village
show examples
. The government should
improved
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improve
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 some work opportunities in the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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, like industry.Where
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an individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 can earn high money.
Furthermore
, should be developed higher education University in rural
areas
 and some
facilities
 like hotels. It can be reduced to
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people to going cities.
For instance
, in
China
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,China
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 almost
facilities
 are available in all villages. To sum up, increasing population in urban
areas
,
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apply
show examples
 is becoming
dangerous
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a dangerous
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 problem for us.Regarding
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
show examples
 of tribal
areas
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 education system and
facilities
 can stop
this
 situation. .
Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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