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Writing Samples
Band 7

In today's world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
smartphones
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 have become an essential part of daily life, as many people rely on them for communication, work, and entertainment.
While
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 owning a
smartphone
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 has certain disadvantages, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks
overall
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. On the one hand, there are many benefits associated with owning a
smartphone
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. One of the most apparent advantages is convenience, as
smartphones
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 allow users to access information and communicate instantly from almost anywhere. To illustrate, people can check emails, navigate using maps, and manage daily tasks efficiently through various applications.
For instance
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,
smartphones
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 enable users to stay connected with family and colleagues, which is particularly beneficial in emergencies or work-related situations.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages related to
smartphone
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 usage that should not be overlooked. One negative aspect is that excessive use of
smartphones
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 can lead to addiction and negatively affect mental health. To clarify, individuals may spend too much time on social media or online entertainment, which can reduce face-to-face interaction.
For example
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, some people become distracted during social gatherings, leading to weaker personal relationships. To recapitulate, it is evident that the main merit of owning a
smartphone
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 is its convenience and ability to improve communication and productivity,
while
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 the principal downside is the risk of overuse and social isolation. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that the advantages of owning a
smartphone
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 outweigh the disadvantages, provided that users maintain self-discipline and use these devices responsibly.

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task response
Add more real examples to back each point.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit.
task response
Explain more why the benefits beat the downs.
task response
Clear view with a straight answer.
coherence
Good use of contrast phrases for balance.
structure
Well built structure with intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
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