IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

what is the reason for increasing crime rates and who is responsible.

Poverty is the prime causative factor for soaring criminal records. In the
abscence
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absence
 of proper food and
accomodation
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accommodation
, one can be motivated to commit
crime
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a crime
the crime
show examples
 in order to satisfy his basic need.
For instance
Linking Words
 , a recent survey suggests that
majority
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the majority
show examples
 of the prisoners started their criminal history when they were poor and
startving
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starving
 for food in the streets.
Additionally
Linking Words
, discrimination is another crucial act , which provokes negative thoughts in
human
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the human
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 mind. Mostly, verbal and physical abuse have created thoughts of vengeance in
victims
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victims'
victim's
show examples
 minds which leads them to acts of revenge. As an example , most
aethists
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artists
atheists
 around the world
,
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apply
show examples
undergoes
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undergo
show examples
 inhumane treatment for criticism against other's believers.
Past
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The past
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 and present
regime
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regimes
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 should be held accountable for
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
show examples
 root causes , which creates
disparity
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a disparity
show examples
 in the community. Civilians elect democrats based on the trust, that they will
paveway
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pave way
 to
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peaceful
peacefull
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a peacefull
show examples
 country. The problem
arise
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arises
show examples
 when they underperform. To elaborate, the free food provided by the
muncipal
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municipal
 council for the
under
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apply
show examples
privilged
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privileged
 citizens was seized after the new
goverment
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government
 was elected .
As a result
Linking Words
 theft and burglary rates increased in that area.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents
also
Linking Words
 should be responsible for their child's behaviour. Blood relatives have an upper hand in influencing their family members into illegal activities , which can ruin the person's life. To illustrate
further
Linking Words
, most physical crimes
such
Linking Words
 as sexual abuse and murder are
commited
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committed
, when the criminal is under the
inlfuence
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influence
 of alcohol. An
indepth
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in-depth
in depth
 analysis into these cases
reflect
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reflects
show examples
, that the addictive substance
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 introduced to
accused
Correct article usage
the accused
show examples
 by their close family ties. In conclusion,

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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