Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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We live in a technology era where electronic devices are everywhere. That's why we can easily play
games
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through those technological devices. And I deeply support
this
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. In modern societies, people have to deal with many problems, that inadvertently are facing a lot of pressure: from family pressure, from work,...
that is
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the reason why the number of played-game adults is increasing rapidly. Take Japan as an example, it is considered the country with the most stressful life in Asia. The rate of Japanese playing
games
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is the highest in Asia.
On the other hand
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, it is mainly because of the development of too many game companies on the market nowadays,
such
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as Dzogame,
Vinagame
Correct word choice
and Vinagame
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,... These companies attract tens of thousands of jobs every year. Those who play
games
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in
this
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situation are not to worry. Playing
games
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by adults can
also
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bring some huge benefits.
First,
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we can download
games
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on our devices easily,
this
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can help us release stress anytime and anywhere. Science has proven that people will not think about suicide if they can relieve stress immediately and the recent statistics show that in the age of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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the coefficient of suicide in Japan has decreased much compared to the previous time.
Moreover
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,
this
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can
also
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help the economy grow. Currently, there are dozens of startups with a market capitalization of hundreds of millions of dollars. Recent surveys
also
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illustrate the number of game apps sold on Google Play and App Store with earnings of hundreds of millions of dollars each year.
This
Linking Words
helps stimulate world economies and usher in new trends in the graphics and IT industries. In conclusion, In conclusion, given all the aforementioned reasons, I am utterly convinced that there are some big benefits to playing
games
Use synonyms
in adults.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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task response
Focus on addressing all parts of the essay prompt in a clear and organized manner. Develop your ideas with more depth and relevance to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization and connection between your ideas. Use transition words and phrases to create a more cohesive essay structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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