Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.

Since the inception of the information age, advertisements have become a prominent sector to advertise products to people, among which
toys
and
snacks
are popular among
children
. The advertisements of
such
goods have impacted
children
’s
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
as well as
parents
are affected in some way. I disagree that young people should be restricted from products that are targeted
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
them.
Firstly
,
toys
have a bad effect on the psychology of young minds.
In other words
,
children
tend to play more with
such
toys
than with real friends out there.
Parents
are
also
affected when their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
beg them to buy
toys
because not all
parents
are economically sustainable to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their child’s demand which creates another long term effect on their innocent brains. A recent survey conducted by Times in the people born between 1990 to 2000 revealed that their
parents
were poor to afford them even a single teddy bear, which affected them in
such
a way that they felt bad for their
parents
and wanted their
children
to not suffer for what they want in life.
Secondly
,
snacks
that are advertised for
children
are bad for their health. As
snacks
are fast food items made with ingredients
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
can harm their brain development, watching advertisements about them everywhere makes them buy and eat frequently. In the long run, the intellectuals of young
children
are affected by its daily consumption.
For instance
, in a school report presented by health workers of Nepal Medical College, they saw that students in villages are more critical thinkers than those living in cities because country
children
mostly eat local foods produced
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their farm while
children
in
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
eat more junk food like
snacks
. In conclusion, advertisers should be careful about the products they advertise. The items like
toys
and
snacks
should not be advertised by focusing
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
children
and
parents
as that can create social and mental disturbance between
parents
and
children
.
Submitted by arjunlama798 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • impressionable
  • manipulation
  • persuasive intent
  • financial strain
  • dietary habits
  • childhood obesity
  • regulations
  • free market practices
  • vulnerable
  • exposure
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