Many people believe that public facilities (e.g. zoos, museums, parks)should be free. Other people think that you should pay to use these facilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Most cities provide several kinds of recreational public places

such

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as zoos, museums, or parks for their citizens to support their quality of life.

However

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, there are different opinions about how to manage it. A group of people thinks that citizens should be charged

Change preposition

for

show examples

entry. Others, including me, believe it should be accessed freely without any additional charges. On the one side, paying for public facilities has good benefits. One of all is government fund is limited

whereas

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the places like museums, zoos or parks need money to give better services.

That is

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why the fees are needed to develop infrastructures or add new collections;

whereas

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the government have to prioritize providing basic needs like healthcare or primary education. The other reason is pushing the management to be more responsible

to serve

Change preposition

for serving

show examples

the visitors. Since the visitors have to pay,

Correct word choice

apply

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the management has to guarantee the worth of it. On the other side, there are several reasons why people must not be charged to enter all public places. The first reason is that it is citizens’ right to enjoy public facilities including for refreshing. Since the citizens are required to pay taxes, the government should give good and comfortable services.

In addition

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, the taxes are supposed to

allocate

Wrong verb form

be allocated

show examples

to build and maintain public facilities including these recreational areas,

for instance

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, paying for the expenses

such

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as manpower, electricity, and cleaning

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

. The other reason is that expanding access for the whole society is important. In fact, not every citizen has excessive funds to spend, and some of them are literally under the poverty line and cannot afford additional fees when they come to the park. If entry passes are free, everyone will have equal opportunities to get an advantage of them.

For example

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, everyone can learn about animals at the zoo, study cultures in museums, or hang out in the parks. In conclusion, paying additional fees may be useful to get more excellent services.

Nevertheless

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, there are

also

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essential grounds to offer free passes, which I definitely agree with the right of people’s tax spending and ensuring all access to all residents. It will probably establish the quality of life for everyone easily.

mirnayanti.sutadisastraThu Mar 24 2022

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task achievement

Ensure to fully develop each idea in separate paragraphs. Although you touched upon most points, some ideas could be expanded further for clarity.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary sentence structures and conjunctions to enhance the fluency and coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data points to strengthen the arguments presented.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining structure and clarity.

task achievement

Both views are discussed, and the writer clearly states his/her opinion, aligning with the task requirements.

task achievement

The essay covers a good range of arguments from both perspectives, providing a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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Many people believe that public facilities (e.g. zoos, museums, parks)should be free. Other people think that you should pay to use these facilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

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