The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, there are divided arguments about whether the country should give retirement workers financial aid
while
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there is an opinion that
people
Use synonyms
must be saving their income to prepare for their old days.
This
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essay will explain both arguments' views on why those perspectives show up.
First,
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the government must take care of elder
people
Use synonyms
, because many of their earnings reduce significantly,
whereas
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the risk to their health and other daily needs will increase. Especially if they are living alone or still having responsibility for their family since they do not have enough savings. These cases occur in developing countries
while
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older
people
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still give money to their children or grandchildren,
due to
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they do not have enough cash.
As a result
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, giving their facility, especially in healthcare
due to
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the treatment having big cost issues will help them a lot and reduce their burden of spending funds.
On the other hand
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,
people
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argue that workers must prepare their emergency savings for the future because they realise that older
people
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will be living alone and the next generation of the family already moving out.
Moreover
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, it supports the perspective that parents or old
people
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should not bother their children and asking more help. To anticipate,
people
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think that workers should spare a little of their salaries and try to cut off the sandwich generation problems, which often happen to younger
people
Use synonyms
in the family. In summary, giving support to them is necessary, where must be given a limited amount and stabilise with the right regulations to manage the assistance.
Also
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, giving them an assist will help the government to reduce the risk of young generations spending their payment by taking care of their family.
Submitted by nabilah.sasa09 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance logical flow between ideas and use linking words more precisely to improve coherence. This will help readers better follow your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by clearly outlining the main points you will discuss and reiterating them at the end. This will give your essay a more structured feel.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your points. This can improve the clarity of your arguments and demonstrate stronger task achievement.
Task Achievement
You successfully discussed both views on the topic, which shows an adequate understanding of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay addresses key aspects of why the government and individuals might hold these roles, showing awareness of multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government responsibility
  • financial support
  • care
  • retirees
  • personal responsibility
  • retirement planning
  • social security
  • pension
  • benefits
  • concerns
  • dependency
  • adequate savings
  • elderly citizens
  • burden
  • welfare system
  • poverty
  • social safety net
  • financial stability
  • public funds
  • sustainable
  • reliable
  • case study
  • Japan
  • Sweden
  • United States
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