Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinemas. Others, say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinemas #cinema

In the modern world, technology is increasing ,and many

people

are watching

movies

from cell phones and computers. Others think that watching a movie on the

internet

is not enjoyable , if

people

need the feeling from the movie, they will go to the theatre is better.

This

essay will discuss both views and will give reasons.

To begin

with, the reason why someone thinks that watching shows on the

internet

is the best idea. Innovation is rising so, they think that watching

movies

from smartphone and computer are comfortable and safe.

In addition

, the price is not expensive.

Such

as the percentage between the years 2015 to 2020 of

people

who watched TV channels on the

internet

have been growth

Wrong verb form

has grown

show examples

. And researchers have been said that they believe that the number will sharply increase in the future.

Thus

, I think that the cause why

people

watch TV programs on the

internet

is because it is comfortable, cost and safe.

On the other hand

, some think that if

people

need a real feeling from the movie, they should go to the cinema because the cinema has material.

However

, I think that watching

movies

on the

Internet

is better ,and phones and computers have many functions to use so,

this

is a better choice.

To sum up

, I believe that watching

movies

on the

internet

like phones and tablets is comfortable ,and they have many modes of watching them that why the number of

people

who watch

movies

online is increasing.

Submitted by itchayatop31 on Tue Nov 21 2023

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task achievement

Your essay does demonstrate an attempt to discuss both views but lacks a fully developed argument. To improve your task achievement score, ensure that you are providing a clear opinion that addresses all parts of the prompt. Your conclusion should tie your arguments together and reflect a well-reasoned personal stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a more cohesive structure by using a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. The use of paragraphs needs to be logical and their content should be connected to the central topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.5

4.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinemas. Others, say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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