IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Despite the progress that was done in agriculture, the masses from different regions of the world experience famine.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes of
this
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 detrimental problem,
as well as
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 providing solutions that can help resolve these hardships.
This
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 tough obstacle is a cause of many improper ways of managing food resource and funding in agriculture. Many underdeveloped countries suffer, because the sustainability economy is appalling,
hence
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 why the public unable to gain enough profit to buy food.
For example
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, many African countries
such
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 as: Nigeria, Chad or even their most developed country: Republic of South Africa, can not provide the people enough products to consume.
Consequently
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 creating hunger all over the territory. A probable management to reduce global hunger is opening up more charities in order to gain not only financial support but aid in sending volunteers to help out the civilians in need.
This
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 will result in fewer death rates
due to
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 famine,
as well as
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 raising the world's statistic in the quality of life.
For instance
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, many campaigns have already been made by celebrities by raising awareness of
this
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 spreading problem and collecting a massive amount of money for low-income families and the public in general. As the evidence suggests, the growing amount of charities can diminish the starving population.
To sum up
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, dealing with
this
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 obstacle requires help from many different sources, allowing the pervention of probable deaths occuring throughout the next following years. In the future, hopefully starvation will not be an issue, but tackling it is need to be done urgently,
otherwise
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 it will turn into a inevitable drawback.

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task response
Ensure to fully address all parts of the essay question and support your arguments with specific examples. Try to provide a more focused and coherent structure for better organization and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points of your essay. In the conclusion, summarize the key arguments and provide a strong closing statement to reinforce your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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