Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is without doubt that a person who commits a crime will be locked behind bars.

Conversely

, some people believe that

prison

sentences

are not effective in many ways. In my opinion, I completely agree with the first argument since it can benefit a whole society. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on my perspectives regarding

this

issue.

Firstly

, incarceration periods can help criminals deter the actions they have committed.

Moreover

, during their jail time, they are required to do house chores

such

as cleaning and organizing stuff inside the

prison

as well as

they have to learn basic manners and religious subjects.

Therefore

, they can have prolonged reflection on what they should and should not do.

For instance

, a pickpocket gets thrown into jail for two years. Throughout his lockup period, he learned about the religious aspect and how to behave once he's been released.

Due to

the

prison

system that forced inmates to acknowledge

such

things, he felt guilt in his past mistakes and turned away from sinful

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Secondly

, if a convict is released without any charges, the community would feel worried and anxious in their

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

Hence

, as

prison

sentences

existed, social groups would not feel as if there was any threat outside. To illustrate, a serial killer is free out there because there are no

prison

sentences

this

world

as a result

every person in the surroundings would feel unsafe.

In addition

, there is a bigger chance that a killer would commit a crime if there is no strict punishment. To summarize, any

sentences

given to criminals would not determine that they would not do it again in the near future. It depends on every individual's consciousness

although

sentences

are given only to prevent the crime from happening again and make society feel safer.

Submitted by pnasywasina on Thu Dec 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the essay demonstrates a recognition of paragraph structure and overall essay organization, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the ideas could be more tightly connected with clearer use of cohesive devices and topic sentences that succinctly summarize the main point of each paragraph.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, the essay addresses the topic but could improve by giving more detailed examples and exploring a more complex range of ideas. The response to the prompt is somewhat simplistic and would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the issue.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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