Today, majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
youngsters are brought up by their
grandparents
since their dads and moms are way too busy at work. Even though
this
trend has both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits and drawbacks, from my point of view, I suppose that it would be better when kids are being nurtured by their grandfathers and grandmothers. Without a shadow of a doubt, raising the
children
keeps
grandparents
energetic and vibrant as well as does not suffer them from loneliness and depression. They can spend time bathing, feeding, even reading books or teaching some household chores for their little
children
.
In other words
, the youngsters have the favourable moments to absorb soft skills namely gardening, culinary skills from their grandmas and grandpas.
Therefore
,
this
is a win-win situation for both,
grandparents
will no longer face solitariness or melancholy which is common at that age and
children
are well looked after.
On the other hand
, parents are
also
the beneficiaries when their kids live with
grandparents
. They will have an additional number of time to concentrate on their jobs, which creates opportunities to move up on their career ladders.
Furthermore
, higher positions at work
builds
Change the verb form
build
show examples
a stronger financial foundation for the family.
For instance
, the
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
clerks in Vietnam have to bear a heavy workload. If the
grandparents
join hands in taking care of their
children
, the stress will be released.
Hence
, the kids being supervised by their
grandparents
has an affirmative effect on many fathers and mothers in the labouring aspect. In brief, a large number of youngsters cared for by their grandfathers and grandmothers when their parents are occupied at work really has an approving impact on all the family members.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: