IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You agreed to take a particular job over the summer, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer take the position. Write a letter including: – Explaining your situation – An apology – Express that you would be interested in the position next summer

#job #summer #circumstances #position #situation #apology
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Dear sir, I hope
this
 letter will find you well. I have been selected as a cashier in your store for
this
 summer job position. I regret to inform you that I will not be able to join
this
 role. Unplanned circumstances have forced me to take
such
 a hard decision.
Last
 week my father got sick and went through heart surgery.
Apart from
this
, my mother is a full-time working woman.
Therefore
, it's only me who can take care of my father. It is a great opportunity to earn money during vacation,
however
, it seems to me that it's my time to fulfil my responsibility towards my family. Please accept my apology, because of not joining the position. I was not only delighted to be hired but
also
 counting the joining day.
Moreover
, if you are interested in giving me an opportunity, I would like to join
this
 position the next summer. I hope you would understand my situation. Yours faithfully, Raj
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

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task achievement
Your task response is mostly complete and addresses the prompt well. However, it would be more effective if you include a clearer closing statement with a thank you for their understanding.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your letter is well-organized with a logical progression of ideas. You could enhance this by breaking down complex sentences to improve readability.
task achievement
You have clearly explained your situation, showing empathy and responsibility towards your family.
task achievement
Your writing tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for this type of letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with an appropriate greeting and closing, making it easy to follow.
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