Some people argue that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebration #waste #individuals #society

People

think that spending too much

money

on marriages, birthday

celebrations

and other functions is not worth it at all. I totally agree with

this

. But, some

people

feel the opposite of

this

opinion. So,

this

essay will discuss it in detail. To start with, in

this

era of

greedyness

Correct your spelling

greediness

, there are, still, many

people

who believe in doing smart things. To illustrate, they do not prefer to invest their

hard earned

Add a hyphen

hard-earned

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

celebrations

because there is

also

another thing which is really important for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society like human rights or education for female children in a country like India.

Also

such

people

like to invest in it as charity and they know the actual value of their earnings and they use it properly.

However

, we have some

people

who spend their cash, without thinking, on the

celebrations

For instance

, to get high standards of living amongst their relatives and friends they spend without limits. Apart from

this

, they consider

such

spending on activities much more important than spending on themself.

Therefore

, folks consider it as an essential part of life to spend to belong to the group and want to make their special events of life memorable for everyone and show off. To sum up, I would like to conclude that it may be quite crucial for many

people

to celebrate their personal occasions, but, for several

people

, investing their

money

in an intelligent way is more priority because they think that

celebrations

are a waste of

money

. In my opinion, spending too much

money

is only wasting useful

money

that can be spent wisely.

Submitted by Toni R on Fri Mar 25 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.