A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?
The most debatable argument revolves around whether
job
satisfaction or a substantial salary which
holds greater significance. Many people are allured by the higher wages. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, others advocate that a job
ought to bring fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
in
one's life. I personally believe that satisfaction in work should be valued more than hefty paycheques because it brings happiness and stabilises mental peace.
To embark on, Money does not bring happiness. It is undeniable that money is crucial for maintaining a livelihood. Change preposition
to
However
, it does not guarantee the contentment it carries. To illustrate, Studies have consistently shown that individuals who derive meaning and enjoyment from their work experience have greater overall
well-being and job
performance. It not only helps in personal growth but also
helps to find an alignment with moral values which results in a meaningful life.
Furthermore
, mental stability is crucial for a human being. if not acquired the balance between personal and professional life has devastating results. For instance
, people who are employed in MNCs have great workloads, and due to
that they are always exhausted and stressed. As a consequence
, their personal relationships have to face challenges because their unable to spend time with their families and friends which impacts their mental health. Along with
this
, It has been seen that people go beyond their potential to attain a goal, and sometimes fail to achieve as
Change preposition
apply
a
outcome they feel depressed.
Change the article
an
To Sum up
, job
satisfaction should not be undervalued by higher wages as it brings joy and a sense of fulfilment which has numerous benefit
for individual growth.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical structures.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your main points.
task achievement
Review and fine-tune your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth and logical transitions between paragraphs for better readability.
task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear stance on the topic, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provide a well-structured argument with a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly sums up the essay, reaffirming your position on the topic.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!