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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people are spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and othe celebrations is a waste of money. But, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebrations #waste #individuals #society
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Some
people
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 argue that spending a lot of
money
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 holding birthday
parties
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, wedding
parties
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 and other celebrations is a waste of
money
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.
However
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, others believe
such
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parties
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 are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Celebrating by spending on
parties
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 is a waste of
money
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 for some
people
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 while others think is beneficial for individuals and society. In India,
people
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 spend a lot of
money
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 on weddings
this
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 is due to the fact that they want to show off with family and friends. In my view,
this
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 is not a good thing as
people
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 take a loan for
such
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 weddings and suffer later. It is okay to spend a little and have a wedding, birthday or any celebration in a simple way.
This
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 essay will discuss the topic
further
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 in the following paragraphs.
First
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 of all, everybody in
this
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 world has limited
money
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 to spend even if they are rich or poor. They work hard all their life to earn
money
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 and save for the future. So
people
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 should think and carefully spend
money
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 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family events so they are comfortable and not take loans. If they take loads they need many years to pay for the loan. So for
such
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Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
,people
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 they think spending
money
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 on
parties
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 is a waste of
money
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. In India, a wedding is a big function and parents spend a lot of
money
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 on
this
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. There are
people
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 who spend as they think it is important for the happiness of the children. Parents want to do their best and spend on jewellery and the function and call all the family members and friends for food and fun. They think it is a good way to celebrate and take lifetime photos as a memory before the daughter leaves her house to live with her husband. So,
people
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 spend
money
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 on kids and to get
people
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 together. In total, I think it is good to have celebrations and spend
money
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 but it can be simple than a grand event.
Submitted by Toni R on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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