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Band 5.5

Some people are spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and othe celebrations is a waste of money. But, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebrations #waste #individuals #society
Some
people
 argue that spending a lot of
money
 holding birthday
parties
, wedding
parties
 and other celebrations is a waste of
money
.
However
, others believe
such
parties
 are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Celebrating by spending on
parties
 is a waste of
money
 for some
people
 while others think is beneficial for individuals and society. In India,
people
 spend a lot of
money
 on weddings
this
 is due to the fact that they want to show off with family and friends. In my view,
this
 is not a good thing as
people
 take a loan for
such
 weddings and suffer later. It is okay to spend a little and have a wedding, birthday or any celebration in a simple way.
This
 essay will discuss the topic
further
 in the following paragraphs.
First
 of all, everybody in
this
 world has limited
money
 to spend even if they are rich or poor. They work hard all their life to earn
money
 and save for the future. So
people
 should think and carefully spend
money
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family events so they are comfortable and not take loans. If they take loads they need many years to pay for the loan. So for
such
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 they think spending
money
 on
parties
 is a waste of
money
. In India, a wedding is a big function and parents spend a lot of
money
 on
this
. There are
people
 who spend as they think it is important for the happiness of the children. Parents want to do their best and spend on jewellery and the function and call all the family members and friends for food and fun. They think it is a good way to celebrate and take lifetime photos as a memory before the daughter leaves her house to live with her husband. So,
people
 spend
money
 on kids and to get
people
 together. In total, I think it is good to have celebrations and spend
money
 but it can be simple than a grand event.
Submitted by Toni R on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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