Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.
Currently, the majority of
people
are willing to travel around the world to visit sightseeing places because it is much easier now as opposed to the past. There are several benefits of tourism
and there are outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
with, people
know the beneficial sides of travelling so there is a proliferation of the number of tourists
day by day. Tourism
brings a huge amount of money to the budget of a country and it is a base in some countries. In addition
, it is a way of feeling an atmosphere of cultural background and putting
the step of knowing the traditions. Verb problem
taking
Furthermore
, visitors can see masterpieces of all ages in museums such
as sculptors, manuscripts and paintings. Visiting one area is a tool for broadening the horizon so it is very beneficial. Tasting of other dishes lies down behind of travelling. Via going to the sightseeing places and having a conversation with local residents. People
can make new friends or life partners.
Tourism
is good but it brings drawbacks with itself. People
need to eat every day, especially tourists
because walking digest a meal very fast. The majority of tourists
bring snacks with them. Unfortunately, most of them throw away litter without caring about the environment. Because of carelessness, there is a proliferation of a number of exceeded amount of rubbishes.In other words
, piled trashes
might bring several mortality diseases to society. It is obvious that living areas are strewn with litter. Newcomer Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
tourists
do not know the laws of other countries because some parts of the constitution do not alike so there is a high percentage of breaking the rules unconsciously and without knowing them.
To conclude
, there are more beneficial sides of tourism
in comparison to it is drawbacks. Tourists
could take a piece of information about the history and broaden their horizons by having a conversation with locals. Controlling the rules over the tourists
is on the shoulders of police officers.Submitted by bexzodraxmatillayev2 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear overall response to the task. However, there were moments when your ideas were not clear enough. Your main points were supporting the answer, but weren't fully developed in some cases. Also, make sure that the supporting examples are well explained.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an apparent logical structure with necessary elements like introduction and conclusion. Some points, however, have seemingly abrupt transitions. Try to link your ideas more smoothly from one to another. Also, While your main points were generally supported, could be improved through thorough elaboration.
lexical resource
There is a good range of vocabulary in your essay, and you have tried using more complex phrases. However, there were some incorrect and unnatural expressions. Remember to always keep your language natural and appropriate for an academic essay.
grammatical range
You have a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Watch out for some grammatical errors you made in the essay. In certain places your sentence structure was unclear, so focus on forming clear and accurate sentences.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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