Some people say Technology has improved our world. do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #technology #world

It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that

technology

has enhanced the standard of living among citizens in contemporary society. Regarding

this

, I strongly agree with

this

assertion as it has improved public services

such

as transportation, education, and healthcare.

Firstly

, thanks to the development of

technology

people

have enjoyed using convenient and eco-friendly

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

. In

this

day and age,

people

have various options to use public

transportations

Replace the word

transport

show examples

such

as buses, trains, and skytrains. These motors have reduced commuting time and traffic jams.

Moreover

, electronic cars have facilitated reducing the environmental issues as

fossile

Correct your spelling

fossil

possible

fuels which emit

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

show examples

green house

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

show examples

gases are not required.

Therefore

, not only does recent

technoloy

Correct your spelling

technology

brings about an efficient lifestyle, but it may

also

contribute to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

clean environment.

Secondly

, in terms of education, individuals have reduced budgets on studying abroad since they have participated in classes overseas remotely with the Internet.

For example

, in Canada, the majority of language schools have provided

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

conferencing classes

such

as Zoom.

Therefore

, these classes have facilitated students over the world

studying

Change the verb form

to study

show examples

remotely.

Finally

, due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge

technology

, life expectancy has extended. A significant number of electronic apparatus

such

as ventilators, defibrillators, and EKG monitors have helped

people

to live longer. What is more, doctors have done organ

tranplantation

Correct your spelling

transplantation

with these devices.

For instance

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent media in Korea has revealed that

people

who have cancers that are under 3 grades no longer die in the modern era owing to the advance of medical devices. As the example clearly illustrates,

technology

has contributed to

people

to live

Change the verb form

living

show examples

longer than before. In conclusion, there is no doubt to point out that the enhance of

technoloy

Correct your spelling

technology

is a key factor to live a better life as it has enhanced crucial public services.

Submitted by hiasince38 on Fri Mar 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others,however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It is argued that several of individuals in the new world face challenges in having healthier lifestyles. However, there are others who think that it is effortless to be in a good fitness if we encouraged ourselves to be. In my opinion, I believe that there are a lot of difficulties to be in a good well-being, while we can be in a good health in accessible easiest ways .
5
band
Despite improved access to education, many adults still lack literacy skills. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?
In modern era education is easily accessible to almost every individual of society. Large number of educational institutions are providing extravagant facilities to students in almost every part of the world. The sole purpose of their services is to provide high quality education. However, regardless of everything there are many individuals whose literacy skills are still very low. This problem seems to be very common in many adults. However, it not only lowers the literacy rate of the society but there are also several disadvantages.
6
band
Some people believe that thre should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed punishments. This essay will analyze both sides of the argument, furthermore, I am personally inclined to the latter view that suggests considering the circumstances of crime while sentencing someone.
4.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, citizens in many countries are more willing to live in cities rather than countrysides, therefore, population in the rural areas decreased a lot. Some think this is a good trand, while others think the opposite. In my opinion, I believe this is not good for current sociaty.
8.5
band
Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Someone agrees that the prices of sugary drinks should be risen to encourage customers to consume less sugar. Personally, I totally disagree with this statement, my opinions will be discussed for the following reasons.

Some people say Technology has improved our world. do you agree or disagree with this view?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others,however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Despite improved access to education, many adults still lack literacy skills. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?