Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit

Nowadays, there has commonly been a huge amount of debate regarding the government budget allocation for

sports

development. A certain segment of society consider it as a waste of money while

others

Add a verb

areothers

wereothers

show examples

contrary with it and prefer to spend more on general public needs. I partially agree for some reasons that

sports

investment would be financially beneficial for countries.

This

essay will elucidate my point of view considering

this

trend as a potential advancement for communities.

First

of all, Nations that have won or organized popular

sports

events will increase their popularity which surely

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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the other economic sectors.

For instance

, very limited people recognized Ivory Coast before they could participate in World Cup. By rapidly increasing the number of engagements from

overseas

Add an article

an overseas

the overseas

show examples

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

, it will be easier to introduce other local commodities

such

as tourism, food, etc.

This

opportunity would be prospective to increase exportation.

In contrast

with the previous argument, There were so many

sports

investments that could not give an impact on society.

For example

, the Indonesian Government has invested more than 10 million dollars for the

last

10 years yet it hasn't produced any achievement.

However

, Badminton and Weightlifting that have contributed to Olympic medals are only given less than 500 thousand dollars. Based on the fact, it shows that the stakeholders need to deeply analyze which type of sport to be supported. They need to make a feasibility study on whether a significant investment would be appropriate or not for some type of

sports

. In conclusion, it would be economically fantastic when the expense for

sports

development can provide a good return.

Thus

, Government should read and analyze the situation comprehensively before making a decision in sporting events.

Submitted by arfienugraha on Sat Mar 26 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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