In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays there are an increasing number of people who prefer to hire a personal fitness
trainer
rather than to play sports or to do exercise classes. The preferences could have either positive or negative impacts.
Some of the positive impacts for people who choose a personal trainer
are mainly to fit personal needs such
as a specific goal and a flexible schedule. Most of us know exactly about what is considered the perfect body shape. So that we hire a trainer
to attained it. For example
, if a man wants to lose 10 kg in 2 months, he will be better off by
hiring a personal Change preposition
apply
trainer
because a customized exercise can be made special for him. However
, the drawback is that not everyone can hire a personal trainer
because its hourly rate often is too expensive.
On the other hand
, folks who spend time joining sports classes or exercising together would benefit from the togetherness. They won’t feel lonely because a sport has at least the opponent and the defendant team such
as football or basketball. The same goes for exercise classes which have minimum participants to be held. Unfortunately, exercising together also
has drawbacks such
as it won’t happen unless there are other participants who join it, for
example
a volleyball.
In conclusion, either exercising alone or doing it with a group, will have its own benefits and drawbacks. It depends on everyone’s personal choice. If you are the type of person who wants to have a fast result, Add the comma(s)
example,
then
you will have a better choice by hiring a personal trainer
. Meanwhile, if you want to prioritize a close bond with your friends, then
joining a sports class will be a good idea.Submitted by permata_188 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between points can be improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay covers both reasons for hiring personal fitness trainers and discusses whether this trend is positive or negative. It would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made, particularly in the discussion about the benefits of exercising with a group.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the reasons behind the choices people make. For instance, why do people prefer customized training over group classes? Providing deeper insights into these motivations would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The argument structure is clear, but the essay lacks some cohesion between sentences and ideas. Work on connecting your sentences within paragraphs to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You address both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view which enhances the fairness of your discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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