In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays there are an increasing number of people who prefer to hire a personal fitness

trainer

Use synonyms

rather than to play sports or to do exercise classes. The preferences could have either positive or negative impacts. Some of the positive impacts for people who choose a personal

trainer

Use synonyms

are mainly to fit personal needs

such

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as a specific goal and a flexible schedule. Most of us know exactly about what is considered the perfect body shape. So that we hire a

trainer

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to attained it.

For example

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, if a man wants to lose 10 kg in 2 months, he will be better off

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hiring a personal

trainer

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because a customized exercise can be made special for him.

However

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, the drawback is that not everyone can hire a personal

trainer

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because its hourly rate often is too expensive.

On the other hand

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, folks who spend time joining sports classes or exercising together would benefit from the togetherness. They won’t feel lonely because a sport has at least the opponent and the defendant team

such

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as football or basketball. The same goes for exercise classes which have minimum participants to be held. Unfortunately, exercising together

also

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has drawbacks

such

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as it won’t happen unless there are other participants who join it,

for

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example

Add the comma(s)

example,

show examples

a volleyball. In conclusion, either exercising alone or doing it with a group, will have its own benefits and drawbacks. It depends on everyone’s personal choice. If you are the type of person who wants to have a fast result,

then

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you will have a better choice by hiring a personal

trainer

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. Meanwhile, if you want to prioritize a close bond with your friends,

then

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joining a sports class will be a good idea.

permata_188Wed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between points can be improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

The essay covers both reasons for hiring personal fitness trainers and discusses whether this trend is positive or negative. It would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made, particularly in the discussion about the benefits of exercising with a group.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on the reasons behind the choices people make. For instance, why do people prefer customized training over group classes? Providing deeper insights into these motivations would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The argument structure is clear, but the essay lacks some cohesion between sentences and ideas. Work on connecting your sentences within paragraphs to improve the overall flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

task achievement

You address both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view which enhances the fairness of your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

In order to learn the way other people in the world live,it is better to look at flim and video records than written docuemnts.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of educations, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of risks outweigh the disadvantages?