IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals believe that authorities ought to provide
free of charge
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free-of-charge
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healthcare
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 and
education
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systems
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.
However
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, others argue that people should pay for these
services
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and I believe that both of these
services
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 should be free for all residents of the country. On the one hand, plenty of residents argue that the
government
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 should provide free
healthcare
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 and
education
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systems
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. Since
,
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apply
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 these are considered basic human rights.
Also
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, it is essential for individual and national development.
For instance
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, our Constitution clearly states that the
education
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 system and medical
services
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 must be free and accessible to everyone.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 must care about its residents and pay for their medical
services
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 and
education
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that everyone must pay for their
healthcare
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 and
education
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. Since
,
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apply
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 they argue that the budget is limited and it must be spent to build the infrastructure of these
systems
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. People value the
services
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 much more when they pay for them.
Additionally
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, opponents argue that
government
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 funding for all
services
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 requires higher taxes, which may burden working citizens and lead to inefficiencies in spending.
For example
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, private schools provide much better facilities compared to public schools.
Therefore
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,
while
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 people pay for these
services
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 they are able to improve the quality and efficiency of these sectors . In conclusion, I would say that
healthcare
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 and
education
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 play a crucial role in our lives.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that these
systems
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 should be controlled and financed by the
government
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 to ensure equal access for all.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Specific statistics or case studies can enhance the clarity of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your paragraphs. For instance, transitions between sentences could enhance the coherence of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your sentences are clear and concise. Avoid unnecessary phrases to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the writer's opinion in the introduction, which is essential for the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your position on the topic.
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