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Band 2.5

People think that children nowadays have more freedom.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
Nowadays, youngers have a good sense of humour. Some people agree that
children
 have more
freedom
 rather than past. I disagree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
firstly
, parents keep their eyes on
children
. In most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families, young ones have to follow the rules and rituals of their family.
Secondly
, young people have their boundary that they have to maintain due to family restrictions.
Thirdly
, there are many
children
 who have their own dreams, and they have to sacrifice themselves just
ofbecause
Correct your spelling
because
of because
lack
Change preposition
of lack
show examples
 of
freedom
.
Furthermore
, these days, social media plays a great role in a child's
freedom
. Guardians do not want that their younger will follow what they see on the internet or social media.
As a result
, youngers have to be under
parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
show examples
 surveillance. In conclusion, ay humans start to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dreams at a younger age.
Hence
, parents should give more
freedom
 to their
children
 so that they could not stop their bright future.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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