Some people say Technology has improved our world. do you agree or disagree with this view?

Since the inception of the modern age, humans have become advanced by the development of

technology

. In some views, it is regarded as improving our world. I absolutely agree with their saying because it has made our life easy and comfortable.

To begin

with,

firstly

, the advancement of

technology

has improved our travel methods.

In other words

, people can easily travel to any part of the world within a short span of time which was hard when compared to the past.

Secondly

, scientific research in health and biology has increased the life expectancy of human beings.

For instance

, in Japan, the average life of Japanese is 75 years and the reason for

that is

because of the use of high medical

technology

by its medical institutions and

Correct article usage

the

show examples

great quality of health services provided by its government.

Moreover

, The development of information and communication

technology

is another reason to agree with the statement. To clarify, it is now possible to share the information or contact any person living anywhere due to a contribution by the scientists in communication

technology

For instance

, digital devices

such

as mobile phones and computers or the internet

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can be used to talk with a friend in the USA by a friend in Nepal at any moment for as long as they wanted to talk. In conclusion, we are accompanied by

technology

that has improved our lifestyle in many ways. Had not

technology

been developed so much as today, it would not have been possible to travel so fastly or communicate so quickly.

Submitted by arjunlama798 on Sun Mar 27 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

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Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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