📌 Task 1 Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter: • mention why you are writing • explain why you would like to work from home • say how this can benefit you and the company

#employer #employees #work #home #hr #manager #permission #six #months #benefit #company

Dear HR Manager I hope

this

letter finds you in good health. I am writing

this

letter to request to

work

from

home

for the next six months.

To begin

with, I have heard some of the staff are allowed to

work

home

online, and my partner of

work

has told me that we could have a chance to

work

remotely from

home

Then

, he

also

suggested that I take

this

chance related to the situation I have been undergoing.

In addition

, I have been feeling unwell lately

due to

the disease that I have been carrying out for the

last

two weeks, so, I am asking for a little attention regarding

this

. I am offering that I might be working at

home

in order to minimize my paces. I was told by the doctor that any heavy movement that I do will affect my health any

further

. Your concern is very valuable for my future health.

Besides

, I realize that the company has some regulations announced lately, and I assure you that

Change the capitalization

show examples

will

work

hard from

home

Moreover

, not attending the workplace could be beneficial for the company since my transportation allowance will not be allocated.

As a result

, the office can save financially.

Finally

, thank you for your attention in advance. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely yours Anong

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Sat Jun 15 2024

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structure

Your letter's structure can be improved to ensure each paragraph contains a single cohesive idea. For instance, the first paragraph should focus solely on the purpose of the letter, the second on your reasons for wanting to work from home, and so on.

coherence

Enhance the logical flow by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will improve the readability and coherence of your letter.

tone

A more formal tone would be suitable for a letter to an HR manager. Avoid colloquial expressions like 'partner of work' and 'paces,' and use more conventional business terminology.

greeting closing

The greeting and closing lines are appropriately respectful and formal.

task achievement

You have clearly outlined your reasons for wanting to work from home and how it could be beneficial to both you and the company. This indicates a thoughtful approach to Task Achievement.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

227 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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