IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
These days, scientists' and technology experts’ role is becoming more vital than the activities of
people
 of
art
. While one side makes progress by developing innovative technologies and improving production, the other tries to save our(human) culture and traditions, not seeing that
people
 have already started to lose humans’ qualities. The way I see it, the dramatic growth of scientists’ value seems to be clearer. In the modern world, scientists and technology experts bring to humanity much more specialities than musicians and artists do.
Firstly
, they create better life conditions
such
 as quick access to the Internet.
As a result
,
people
 do not spend a large amount of time finding information about problems that bother them, sitting in libraries.
Secondly
, automation. It is noticeable that society is going to automate all processes, which are only possible, due to the laziness of modern
people
 and the desire to move forward by creating new opportunities for humanity. Both benefits were made by the hands of the
people
 of science. In the nearest future, the influence of music or
art
 on society will decrease dramatically. There are no advantages compared with science and technologies, it will always take a back seat. The reason I say so is based on
people
’s needs. Because of technological ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
progress the percentage of workplaces in the labour market for musicians, writers, artists has fallen to the minimum value.
However
, it does not mean that the population of Earth should completely forget music and
art
, as it helps to boost countries’ economies. In conclusion, the contribution of scientists and technology experts is not compared with
people
 of
art
,
however
, the arts must have a special place in our hearts, as it is important to humankind. I believe that modern society will continue to make progress and will keep the arts in mind.
Submitted by limilia248 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: