IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic wolrd. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion of some
people
Use synonyms
, sharing a lot of
information
Use synonyms
 in the
fields
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as science,
business
Use synonyms
 and academics
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. But there are other
people
Use synonyms
 who think that critical
information
Use synonyms
 related to these
fields
Use synonyms
 should be kept secret. In my belief, I agree with both the views and I will present both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinions in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, sharing the
information
Use synonyms
 helps to spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness in the
world
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, everything is volatile in our universe, and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sharing the scientific research would help to fight against the dangerous
possiblities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Coronavirus, which was discovered in China, would have killed more humans than the current human casualties, if
information
Use synonyms
 about it had not been broadcasted worldwide at that time.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
Similar
, in case of
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
vital to know the early
possiblity
Correct your spelling
possibility
 about the market crash.
Academic
Add an article
The academic
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 can not hide their data because they help to develop an education in society.
However
Linking Words
, there are some confidential details about these
fields
Use synonyms
 that could harm others, if it gets leaked. To clarify,
business
Use synonyms
 owners can not publish in a public about their internal affairs, as that may ruin their reputation.
For instance
Linking Words
, KFC protects its secret ingredient from exposing to
people
Use synonyms
 because it can downward their
business
Use synonyms
 profits.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 keep some of their research
secret
Change to a plural noun
secrets
show examples
 until it is
proofed
Replace the word
proven
show examples
 as valid. Academicians,
also
Linking Words
, publish their
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
 after reviewing
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 detail. In conclusion, there are both kinds of
people
Use synonyms
 who believe whether the
information
Use synonyms
 should be shared or not by the scientific research,
business
Use synonyms
 and academic
world
Use synonyms
. Since the leakage of data of
such
Linking Words
fields
Use synonyms
 could lead to
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
, it should be protected, but depending on the future casualties, some data must be shared.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: