IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic wolrd. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #information #research #business #wolrd
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In
an
Correct article usage
the
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 opinion of some
people
Use synonyms
, sharing a lot of
information
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 in the
fields
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such
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 as science,
business
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 and academics
is
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are
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 beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. But there are other
people
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 who think that critical
information
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 related to these
fields
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 should be kept secret. In my belief, I agree with both the views and I will present both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opinions in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, sharing the
information
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 helps to spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness in the
world
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.
In other words
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, everything is volatile in our universe, and
by
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apply
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sharing the scientific research would help to fight against the dangerous
possiblities
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possibilities
.
For instance
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, Coronavirus, which was discovered in China, would have killed more humans than the current human casualties, if
information
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 about it had not been broadcasted worldwide at that time.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
Similar
, in case of
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business
Add an article
the business
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world
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 it is
a
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apply
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vital to know the early
possiblity
Correct your spelling
possibility
 about the market crash.
Academic
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The academic
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world
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 can not hide their data because they help to develop an education in society.
However
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, there are some confidential details about these
fields
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 that could harm others, if it gets leaked. To clarify,
business
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 owners can not publish in a public about their internal affairs, as that may ruin their reputation.
For instance
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, KFC protects its secret ingredient from exposing to
people
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 because it can downward their
business
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 profits.
Likewise
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,
scientist
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scientists
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 keep some of their research
secret
Change to a plural noun
secrets
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 until it is
proofed
Replace the word
proven
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 as valid. Academicians,
also
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, publish their
article
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articles
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 after reviewing
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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 detail. In conclusion, there are both kinds of
people
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 who believe whether the
information
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 should be shared or not by the scientific research,
business
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 and academic
world
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. Since the leakage of data of
such
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fields
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 could lead to
danger
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dangerous
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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to
Change preposition
for
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 some
people
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, it should be protected, but depending on the future casualties, some data must be shared.
Submitted by arjunlama798 on

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