IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #television #decrease #crimes #society
Films and TV
programmes
 today are filled with
violence
 and
as a result
,
violence
 is increasing in our societies. I agree that by censoring
such
programmes
 and films, some amount of
violence
 can be decreased. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views. Reducing the amount of
violence
 on TV and in the cinema would certainly be a good start decreasing
violence
 among
people
. It is a well-known fact that the media possesses a lot of power to influence
people
. So, those in the media must be judicious about delivering news in a balanced manner that brings the story to the consumer without showing too much
violence
. There are many harmful effects of
such
programmes
 on individuals and society. The most disturbing effect is on the
children
 and youth. Media
violence
 can stimulate fear in some
children
 as it frightens them, making the effects long-lasting.
This
 can become traumatic in our
children
 as they see it more and more.
Children
 are starting to grow and are shaping their personalities, values and beliefs. They can become aggressive or they can lose a sense of reality and fiction of what they are seeing.
Moreover
, young
people
 imitate what they see and it is logical that they see glamour in what they do when they commit
violence
.
Consequently
, society suffers as the streets are full of
violence
.
Finally
, too much portrayal of these
also
 leads to immunity among the
people
 and they are not affected by the disasters anymore. Disasters like tsunamis and earthquakes don’t make
people
 shed a tear anymore. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, having a check on the
violence
 in TV
programmes
 and films, would certainly be a good start to decrease the
violence
 and crime in society.
Submitted by tn.trannhan68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: