Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the modern era, the education system has changed dramatically as same as other sectors. These days, providing unhealthy snacks and soft drinks is becoming common in many schools during lunch breaks because it is helping them to earn more wealth. I think
this
is a negative development and I will justify my reasons in the upcoming paragraphs with examples.
To begin
with, the first and foremost reason is that students have to face several issues related to their health.
For instance
, youngsters tend to eat cuisine from school canteens rather than giving preference to homemade foodstuff. In canteens, meals are not fresh and healthy, there are no proteins, vitamins or nutrition in these kinds of foods.
As a result
, these foods lead to many health hassles
such
as obesity, heart disease and diabetes.
Furthermore
, young ones waste their parent's salary by eating junk food.
For example
, when their parents prepare bread for their children
then
, they are reluctant to bring it to school rather they ask for cash from their mothers to purchase lunch from their institutions. Eventually,
this
habit leads them to spend money on things rather than saving it.
However
, if parents don't agree to give funds, little ones may choose the path of crime like pickpockets.
Last
year, one of my friends started pickpockets as his father was not giving him cash for eating at school. In conclusion,
although
this
is not a bad idea to earn some wealth from opening canteens in the institutions , healthy foodstuff should be provided by them. Since it would not only help schools to make property but
also
feed children healthy meals.
Submitted by simranjot0002 on

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positive
Keep up with the clear structure of your essay; it guides the reader smoothly through your arguments.
improvement
Expand on your examples by connecting them more explicitly to your main argument. This helps to strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
improvement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion by exploring counterarguments or acknowledging potential benefits alongside the negatives. This can add depth to your essay.
improvement
Watch out for repetitive phrases or ideas and try to introduce a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
improvement
Pay attention to presenting a more nuanced conclusion that encapsulates all aspects of your argument, showcasing a thoughtful consideration of the issue.
critical thinking
You have conveyed a strong stance on the topic, adding to the persuasive element of your essay.
examples
Excellent use of examples to back up your points, making your arguments more tangible and relatable.

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