Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the modern era, the education system has changed dramatically as same as other sectors. These days, providing unhealthy snacks and soft drinks is becoming common in many schools during lunch breaks because it is helping them to earn more wealth. I think

this

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is a negative development and I will justify my reasons in the upcoming paragraphs with examples.

To begin

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with, the first and foremost reason is that students have to face several issues related to their health.

For instance

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, youngsters tend to eat cuisine from school canteens rather than giving preference to homemade foodstuff. In canteens, meals are not fresh and healthy, there are no proteins, vitamins or nutrition in these kinds of foods.

As a result

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, these foods lead to many health hassles

such

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as obesity, heart disease and diabetes.

Furthermore

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, young ones waste their parent's salary by eating junk food.

For example

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, when their parents prepare bread for their children

then

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, they are reluctant to bring it to school rather they ask for cash from their mothers to purchase lunch from their institutions. Eventually,

this

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habit leads them to spend money on things rather than saving it.

However

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, if parents don't agree to give funds, little ones may choose the path of crime like pickpockets.

Last

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year, one of my friends started pickpockets as his father was not giving him cash for eating at school. In conclusion,

although

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this

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is not a bad idea to earn some wealth from opening canteens in the institutions , healthy foodstuff should be provided by them. Since it would not only help schools to make property but

also

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feed children healthy meals.

simranjot0002Wed May 08 2024

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positive

Keep up with the clear structure of your essay; it guides the reader smoothly through your arguments.

improvement

Expand on your examples by connecting them more explicitly to your main argument. This helps to strengthen your points and make them more convincing.

improvement

Try to ensure a balanced discussion by exploring counterarguments or acknowledging potential benefits alongside the negatives. This can add depth to your essay.

improvement

Watch out for repetitive phrases or ideas and try to introduce a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.

improvement

Pay attention to presenting a more nuanced conclusion that encapsulates all aspects of your argument, showcasing a thoughtful consideration of the issue.

critical thinking

You have conveyed a strong stance on the topic, adding to the persuasive element of your essay.

examples

Excellent use of examples to back up your points, making your arguments more tangible and relatable.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. To what extend do you agree?

The percentage of persons arrested in 1994 and the most recent reasons for arrest