Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative quality?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, many countries regard competitiveness as a quality that can make
people
Use synonyms
more productive. Ironically, in my opinion,
this
Linking Words
trend leads to the opposite side
instead
Linking Words
of the positive effect. Under the pressure of
competition
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
are less likely to feel satisfied and need to put in more effort to achieve the same success as now. In a highly competitive society, it is difficult for
people
Use synonyms
to achieve satisfaction through their growth;
instead
Linking Words
, they need to be better than others to gain a
sense
Use synonyms
of satisfaction.
However
Linking Words
, everyone has their areas of expertise and incompetence, so it is harder to get a
sense
Use synonyms
of achievement by trying their best to outperform everyone or even the best in the field than by making their progress. As the
sense
Use synonyms
of failure builds up, the more the desire to gain satisfaction through
competition
Use synonyms
to regain self-confidence becomes a vicious circle. When
people
Use synonyms
are required to spend unnecessary effort to obtain what they are supposed to have, all standards are artificially raised and
thus
Linking Words
trapped in vicious
competition
Use synonyms
. A significant case is a Chinese company called Ali which encourage staff to compete with other departments, other teams and even within their teams. After a series of promotion conditions were publicised, it turned out that
employees
Use synonyms
were overworked to complete what was originally a multi-person task.
Then
Linking Words
, many
employees
Use synonyms
were made redundant since they were not wanted anymore, leaving the remaining
employees
Use synonyms
to stay in their original positions with extra workload and hours but with fewer benefits. There are no winners in
this
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
for
employees
Use synonyms
, only exploiters who have the
last
Linking Words
laugh. The promotion of a
sense
Use synonyms
of
competition
Use synonyms
is an orgy for the rule-builders, while for the majority of ordinary
people
Use synonyms
, the only thing left is a
sense
Use synonyms
of no longer feeling fulfilled and a tiring and low-paying job.
Submitted by baozilyn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: