Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many wealthy
nations
often give one part of their budget to poorer countries
. However
, some people think that it can not solve poverty. Therefore
, developed countries
should use
other ways of support to help poor countries
instead
of financial aid. This
essay will present some reasons why I am convinced by this
statement.
On the one hand, raising money
for support is one of the most efficient ways. First of all, there are some countries
that get into trouble with rations and they can use
money
that they are given for food cultivation or livestock and poultry farming. Besides
, some countries
can use
financial aid to solve domestic problems like building infrastructure, environmental pollution, or the state's lack of literacy. For example
, undeveloped nations
like countries
in Africa should receive income from The United Nations
to construct more schools or educational institutions to increase in literacy rate.
On the other hand
, some issues need to be paid attention to. First,
providing for poorer countries
with too much money
can form dependence on rich nations
. Therefore
, problems can not be solved at its root. Besides
, poor regions can become lazier and their governments do not invest efforts and time to solve issues by themselves. For instance
, although
some areas in Africa are given financial aid, people's quality of life is not better than before. Inhabitants still use
unsanitary well water, or live in dilapidated houses.
In conclusion, giving money
to poorer regions can be a good way but in my view, it does not solve all of the issues and effects. Instead
, the important thing is that poorer areas can solve problems and develop their countries
by themselves.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that the essay thoroughly addresses all aspects of the question. Although the essay presents a clear stance and relevant arguments, more comprehensive examples and deeper exploration of each point would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a logical manner. Though the essay is fairly well-structured, some ideas could be more logically ordered. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and maintain clarity throughout.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points with more specific and diverse examples could improve coherence and cohesion. Diversify the types of non-financial aid mentioned to provide a more comprehensive overview.
task achievement
The essay clearly states its position on the topic in the introduction, which helps in providing a focused response.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant supporting points that align well with the main argument, making the response coherent and understandable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the author's perspective, which is very important for coherence.
task achievement
Use of relevant examples such as the situation in African countries adds credibility and context to the arguments presented.