It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child’s development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

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Many people believe that the biggest influence that affects a child’s development are external factors

for instance

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media, pop culture, and

friends

Use synonyms

. While other people strongly believe that family has a bigger effect and is the most significant role. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before the conclusion is reached. Nowadays,

children

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have to go to school five days per week. They meet their classmates almost every day. They

also

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spend a huge time using the internet. Some

children

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might face their

friends

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or media more than their parents. For

this

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reason, these external

causes

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are important to

children

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In other words

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, things they are familiar with are the most influence

However

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, most

children

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live with their family: father, mother, or grandparent. They grow up with their parent's morals and follow the way they were taught.

In addition

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, diet and nutrition that

also

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affect

children

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's development are mostly selected by the parents.

Consequently

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, it is undeniable that parents are

also

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a major factor in their growing up. In my perspective, young people are easily made to follow. They always believe in their

friends

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who have the same age and want to be like each other.

For example

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children

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in the same lifetime will dress in the same way and be markedly different from older

children

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Moreover

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, they have the same liking

then

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they easily understand and get into each other. To summarize, both external

causes

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such

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friends

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, pop culture, and media, and family as internal

causes

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play a significant role in a child’s development.

Although

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my opinion is that external factors have more effect,

children

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need both factors to build their growth. They cannot grow up either external or internal

causes

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That is

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to say, the more their environment is better, the more their growth becomes better

Submitted by nmnngii on Thu Mar 31 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

305 words

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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child’s development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

“In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?