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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Inspite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? Explain the idea with relevant example.

#inspite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case #idea
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Just like any other developments, there are advances made in agriculture
thses
Correct your spelling
these
 days,
such
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 as efficient irrigation
system
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systems
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, organic farming est. The advances in
agriculre
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 greatly
increase
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people
Use synonyms
's quality of life, but unfortunately, it doesn't benefit all
people
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. Many
people
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 around the world still suffer from starvation. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons
to
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for
show examples
this
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 problem and what can be done to solve it. 
These
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
 are various reasons behind
this
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penomenon
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phenomenon
.
Firstly
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, it is the uneven development of technology.
Although
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 advancements are made nowadays, they are mostly in developed
countries
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. The
people
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 in well-developed
countries
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 have organic farming and can access
to
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apply
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healthy
food
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 in an approachable way.
However
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, the
people
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 in
third
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 world
countries
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 do not have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficient methods to enhance their farming activities. Some of them still use the traditional agriculture practice, which is hard to
increase
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 the amount of the products.
For example
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, in some areas in Southeast Asia,
people
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 still raise rice by hand, it is more time-consuming
that
Correct word choice
than
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 mass production by machine.
Secondly
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, the uneven distribution of the
ariculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
agricultural
 products is
also
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 the cause. We all know that some
of
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apply
show examples
the
agriculre
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 products are cultivated in developing
countries
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, but
people
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 in these
countries
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 still suffer from starvation, because what they cultivate may transport
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 developed
countries
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.
People
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 in these developed
countries
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 need to export their
food
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 to ensure the counties' economic development while
sacrifice
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sacrificing
show examples
 the local needs at the same time.
For example
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, coffee beans in South Africa are transported to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Western
countries
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,
although
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 they might suffer
food
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 issues themselves. There are some methods or policies
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be done to solve
this
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 problem. The
countries
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 with
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
agriculre
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 technologies could share their methods with the less developed
countries
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 to
increase
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 the
food
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producation
Correct your spelling
production
, and it will benefit the global as a whole.
Also
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, the
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 that export
food
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 to other
countires
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countries
 should ensure that the gaining revenues from the export should be used on the local
people
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 in the
first
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 place. In conclusion, the advances made
in
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apply
show examples
greatly
increase
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people
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's quality of life,
however
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, certain adjustments need to be made to ensure
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fair share of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 production.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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