Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often argued that young

people

Use synonyms

are getting negatively influenced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

fame

Use synonyms

and prosperity

instead

Linking Words

of their achievements.

Infact

Correct your spelling

In fact

, I strongly agree with the statement because it makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

distracted away from their studies and it makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

waste finances on unnecessary things.

Firstly

Linking Words

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

fame

Use synonyms

and

wealth

Use synonyms

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

to the distraction of

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation.

This

Linking Words

is because youngsters will spend more time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching them on TV and reading their favourite celebrity magazines,

instead

Linking Words

of reading their academic books.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will lead to a decline in their academic performance

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that they will attain poor grades.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it will hamper their future career.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, due to

popularity

Correct article usage

the popularity

show examples

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

dramas, teenagers spend less time on studies and more on watching their favourite actors and

actressess

Correct your spelling

actresses

Therefore

Linking Words

, famous

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

glamour and

wealth

Use synonyms

influence badly the young

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

education.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, celebrities will make young

people

Use synonyms

extravagant. These days, due to a surge in the fashion by celebrities, young

people

Use synonyms

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to buy the expensive things which they see in movies and magazines. It is due to the fact that they want to look good and wants to imitate their favourites. To illustrate, a recent study concluded that teenagers in Dubai spend more than half of their pocket allowance on buying famous football

stars

Change noun form

stars'

star's

show examples

clothes.

Thus

Linking Words

, famous

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

fame

Use synonyms

and

wealth

Use synonyms

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of money among young

people

Use synonyms

which they can use for other useful

puposes

Correct your spelling

purposes

. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that famous

people

Use synonyms

impacts

Correct subject-verb agreement

impact

show examples

the young generation in a negative way

Change preposition

through

show examples

their

fame

Use synonyms

and

wealth

Use synonyms

because it affects the

youngsters

Change noun form

youngster's

youngsters'

show examples

educational performance and

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to wastage of money.

drvishal13Fri Apr 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measure can be taken to deal with this problem?
With an ever-increasing human population, the competition for resources has significantly negatively impacted the welfare of many animal species. This essay will discuss why animals should be protected and how this issue can be addressed.
6
band
Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree
The awareness of snacks and toys has a huge impact on young ones and their parents hence advertising of the same must be abolished. I totally disagree with this statement because the main problem is not advertising companies involved with loose of their businesses if they do not promote their products.
6
band
Some people think news has no connection to people’s life. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One school of thought holds that news does not connect to human life, and spending time reading the newspaper as well as watching television news programs is wasteful. While acknowledging the reasons behind this sentiment, I would contend that news has a particular connection to lives and time expended on newspaper and TV news is valuable.
7.5
band
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, there has been an increasing number of productions in the consumer goods sector, which has a negative impact on the natural environment. This is primarily due to the rise in CO2 emissions from several industries and the use of plastic packaging in production. However, there are two ways to address this issue.
8
band
In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the current times, most citizens are making efforts to curb environmental impact by opting for eco-friendly products. Their focus is to look out for options for a healthier ecosystem for the upcoming generations. The adaptability of such living comes up with a few challenges; however, there are some real-time actions that one can adopt to overcome their impact.

Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measure can be taken to deal with this problem?

Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

Some people think news has no connection to people’s life. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.