IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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To assist
welfare
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 organisations, every individual should contribute a set amount of their earnings. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it prevents the extinction of charitable societies
along with
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 the betterment of deprived
people
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. The predominant reason to support charity by donating money is the prevention of the closing of
such
Linking Words
 organisations. To justify, since most charitable firms do not have any source of income, they completely depend on the donations received from
people
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. Even if they have some saved money, they utilise it for the
welfare
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 of needy persons which leaves them with no savings;
consequently
Linking Words
, it results in their closure.
This
Linking Words
 causes poor
people
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 to become homeless.
For instance
Linking Words
, had the Happy Club in India, a charitable trust, received funds for its members, it would not have closed down
last
Linking Words
 year, leaving many
people
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 in a miserable situation.
Besides
Linking Words
 saving these trusts, funding can assist in improving the living status of
people
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 having meagre money. The reason for financial support is to arrange the necessary items
such
Linking Words
 as food, shelter and clothes for destitute individuals.
In other words
Linking Words
, the funds generated by
people
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 in the form of charity are used for
welfare
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 purposes so that poor
people
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 will not suffer.
For example
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, Australians donate a fixed amount of their wages to charity; thereby, improving the living conditions of poor
people
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 in Australia. The better the living conditions of
people
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 are, the better the world will become. In conclusion, by averting the
welfare
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 societies
as well as
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 raising the standards of living of deprived individuals, I am convinced that everybody ought to donate a definite sum of their income.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
Consider bringing in counterarguments to demonstrate a balanced view, even if you ultimately refute them. Addressing opposing viewpoints will show depth in your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clarity by ensuring that each paragraph discusses a single main idea. This might help in making your points more digestible and cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses relevant and specific examples to support its main points, strengthening the argument.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, addressing the main points of the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic equality
  • Wealth gap
  • Redistributing resources
  • Social responsibility
  • Mandatory donations
  • Financial strain
  • Voluntary donations
  • Morality
  • Ethics
  • Efficient use of resources
  • Sporadic contributions
  • Implementation challenges
  • Compliance
  • Fixed amount
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