IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 day and age, there is a growing trend of
people
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 working from home(
WFH
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). Many prefer not to go to their boring offices to handle their tasks. Without a doubt,
WFH
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 is extremely beneficial to
employees
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 and their
families
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.
However
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, it is
also
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 a double-edged sword, which can have its downsides for the worker and his family. Analysing the fact that
WFH
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 aids in a balanced lifestyle but causes potential illness and stress in workers and their
families
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 will prove the point. On the one hand,
WFH
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 allows for an emphasis on work-life balance with high flexibility.
For instance
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, removing the rigid structures in the office will enhance workers’ performance.
Furthermore
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, the complete reduction of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 on the road means more time for
families
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, self-care, and personal pursuits.
Also
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, the time could be used for tackling any additional work.
This
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 flexibility can even boost productivity as
employees
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 avoid distractions and maximise efficiency with fewer things to worry about.
Hence
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, it is believed that
WFH
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 will bring benefits to the worker and their
families
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.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 argue that
WFH
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 hinders their health and may stress children in their homes.
For example
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,
WFH
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 causes a blurred boundary between working hours and personal life. Many times, working hours may creep into the evenings and weekends.
This
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 may result in
employees
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 staying up late to work
after-hours
Correct your spelling
after hours
show examples
 which is not beneficial to their health. Adding on to that, children at home constantly seeing their working parents may be stressed out, and noise disruption will hinder their health.
Therefore
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,
people
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 believe that
WFH
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 will bring stress to the
employees
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 and their
families
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. In conclusion, I personally believe that
WFH
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 holds immense potential in allowing the family to bond deeper. Its benefits for childcare, family connection, and well-being are significant.
Nonetheless
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, there are still downsides to
WFH
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, and
people
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 should try to find the way that suits them best.

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Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. While the essay presents both views and your opinion, it could benefit from a more detailed examination and a clearer statement of your viewpoint.
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Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas with more detailed explanations and illustrations. Your ideas are good, but they need to be expanded upon to provide a deeper understanding for the reader.
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Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and allow the reader to see the practical applications of your points.
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Maintain a clear logical structure throughout the essay. While the essay has a discernible structure, consider more sophisticated transitions and internal cohesion to guide the reader seamlessly from one idea to the next.
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Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay. While present, they could be improved to better engage the reader and summarize the key points more powerfully.
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Support your main points with a variety of cohesive devices and refer back to the thesis statement regularly to reinforce the essay's argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • overhead costs
  • commuting
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • domestic responsibilities
  • work attire
  • financial savings
  • blurred boundaries
  • mental health
  • social interaction
  • downsizing
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