IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer neccessary. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #access #information #libraries #neccessary
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Nowadays, with technological development,
students
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 can access easily information online. Some people state that it is unnecessary for
students
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 to go to
libraries
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 as they could find several eBooks, online documentaries or educational videos with an internet-connected smartphone or computer. Others believe that
libraries
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 are essential for them. I mainly agree with the latter view for the following reasons.
First,
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it is clear that
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students
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 are easily distracted by interesting things on the internet like video games or movies.
This
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 prevents them from concentrating on their studies, which could lead to lower academic results.
By contrast
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,
students
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 can study at school
libraries
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 without disturbances or distractions, which helps improve their concentration.
Moreover
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, sitting long hours in front of computer screens is detrimental to
students
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' health.
Students
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 who spend a large amount of time browsing the internet are more likely to suffer from health problems
such
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 as fatigue or eye strain.
According to
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 recent surveys, about 68% of children who study with smartphones or computers have more
eyes
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eye
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 or back problems.
In addition
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,
libraries
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 give
students
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 the chance to interact, communicate and share ideas with other
students
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, which helps develop their social skills. To summarize,
libraries
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 bring a wide range of benefits to
students
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.
Therefore
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, it is obvious that the idea of studying at
libraries
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 could be supported. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, it is predicted that the positive effects of the debate over the benefits of
libraries
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 will be greater than the adverse effects, and because of
this
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, it is necessary for
students
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 to go to
libraries
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instead
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 of staying at home with technological gadgets.
Submitted by htkd3295 on

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task response
Your essay offers a clear opinion and provides relevant examples to support your argument. Make sure to address the opposing view and refute it to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and consider using transition words to improve coherence.
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