IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter • describe the problem you had with the tickets • say why you were unhappy with the staff • suggest what action the train company should take

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to you in regard to an issue associated with my usage of tickets at the train station. I have acquired these tickets for my weekly transportation.
First,
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I would like to mention that I was unable to utilize them as I arrived at the station.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I requested an assist from your employees in order to realize the reason for
this
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 phenomenon. Not only could they not address any solutions to my problem but
also
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 they responded very rudely. I was extremely disappointed by the way they reacted.
Moreover
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, I was hoping you could provide some information on why
this
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 happened to me.
In addition
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, I wanted to recommend that you should inform your workers about every situation that might arise, and educate them to treat the customers appropriately. I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Faithfully Yours, Mahsa.

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task achievement
Consider revising the description of the problem with the tickets to make it clearer. Readers should easily understand the specific issue.
task achievement
Consider expanding on why the staff's attitude was unsatisfactory, possibly by providing a specific example of the rude behavior.
coherence cohesion
While the letter is mostly coherent, ensure that there's a clearer flow, especially when transitioning from one point to another, like from describing the problem to discussing the staff's behavior.
greeting and closing
The letter effectively closes with a proper salutation, leaving a respectful tone even after expressing dissatisfaction.
single idea per paragraph
The letter is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the situation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • inconvenience
  • frustrated
  • incompetent
  • unhelpful
  • inconsiderate
  • ruined
  • compensation
  • refund
  • apology
  • reimbursement
  • improvement
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