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Band 5.5

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

#celebrities #money #politicians
It is well known that currently, famous people's incomes are much higher than politicians. The supply and offer system is present
also
 in
celebrity
Correct article usage
the celebrity
show examples
 market and with that
reality
Add a comma
,reality
show examples
 I am in disagreement.
First
 of all, I want to explain what are the main reasons that cause it and
secondly
 I will explain my opinion. We all know that the biggest salaries are moving between
football
players
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or
celebrities
 in general. Under the less
knowledge
Replace the word
knowing
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 I could have in
this
 area, I believe that it is because
this
 market (if we can call it like
this
) works like others, which means, its behaviour is based on offer and supply.
This
 explanation could be easily understandable with a common example.
For instance
, imagine two
football
 teams,
one
 of them is well known and has the best
football
players
, the other
one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 barely can buy their own equipment. Every Sunday, the
first
one
 sells all its tickets
instead
 of the other team,
consequently
,
thus
, the more tickets the
first
one
 sells, the higher salary its
players
 will have. Notwithstanding, apart from that, the
celebrities
 ( and it includes
football
players
, singers, actresses...) use to participate in public campaigns, in which they not only promote their own image but sometimes they are representing a specific brand,
hence
 they through these adverts increase their salaries. To sum up, I believe that, the audiences are the big factor which controls the celebrity market, it means the more audience they have, the higher the salary will be, but I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 politicians must-have, unless the same salary as
celebrities
 because they are working for us,
therefore
 the responsibility is major than
celebrities
' responsibility.
Submitted by melisa.siverio on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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