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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

#celebrities #money #politicians
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It is well known that currently, famous people's incomes are much higher than politicians. The supply and offer system is present
also
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 in
celebrity
Correct article usage
the celebrity
show examples
 market and with that
reality
Add a comma
,reality
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 I am in disagreement.
First
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 of all, I want to explain what are the main reasons that cause it and
secondly
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 I will explain my opinion. We all know that the biggest salaries are moving between
football
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or
celebrities
Use synonyms
 in general. Under the less
knowledge
Replace the word
knowing
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 I could have in
this
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 area, I believe that it is because
this
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 market (if we can call it like
this
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) works like others, which means, its behaviour is based on offer and supply.
This
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 explanation could be easily understandable with a common example.
For instance
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, imagine two
football
Use synonyms
 teams,
one
Use synonyms
 of them is well known and has the best
football
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
, the other
one
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 barely can buy their own equipment. Every Sunday, the
first
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one
Use synonyms
 sells all its tickets
instead
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 of the other team,
consequently
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,
thus
Linking Words
, the more tickets the
first
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one
Use synonyms
 sells, the higher salary its
players
Use synonyms
 will have. Notwithstanding, apart from that, the
celebrities
Use synonyms
 ( and it includes
football
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
, singers, actresses...) use to participate in public campaigns, in which they not only promote their own image but sometimes they are representing a specific brand,
hence
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 they through these adverts increase their salaries. To sum up, I believe that, the audiences are the big factor which controls the celebrity market, it means the more audience they have, the higher the salary will be, but I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 politicians must-have, unless the same salary as
celebrities
Use synonyms
 because they are working for us,
therefore
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 the responsibility is major than
celebrities
Use synonyms
' responsibility.
Submitted by melisa.siverio on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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