People now overuse technology, which induces negative effects, do you agree or disagree?

#people #overuse #technology #effects

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It’s argued that

people

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now overuse

technology

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, which induces negative effects.

While

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I agree with the idea of excessive

use

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technology

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, I do believe there are many benefits and conveniences brought by

technology

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, as long as it is applied properly.

Firstly

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, the appropriate

use

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technology

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makes daily life more convenient.

People

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can now do many things on the internet without even needing to go outside. They can finish their work at home using the computer, eliminating the need to commute to companies.

Additionally

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, they can shop online, which is time-saving and convenient, offering more choices by simply browsing different shopping websites.

Furthermore

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technology

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has revolutionized communication, allowing us to stay connected with friends and family across the globe with just a few clicks.

Secondly

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, overusing

technology

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leads to negative influences on

people

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, but

this

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can be prevented. Some may state that many students are now addicted to computer games, so it’s unwise for young

people

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use

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the internet and play computer games.

However

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, if

technology

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is used properly, it can help young

people

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be more creative and relieve stress. The fast development of

technology

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should not be blamed. Indeed,

people

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need to learn how to apply

technology

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to benefit themselves.

Moreover

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technology

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can be a powerful educational tool, providing access to a vast array of resources and learning opportunities. In conclusion, properly applying

technology

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can help

people

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make progress, and it is essential to avoid excessive

use

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. Embracing

technology

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with a balanced approach can lead to a more informed and enriched society. It is our responsibility to harness its potential

while

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being mindful of its pitfalls.

Submitted by millstonelee on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that examples provided are more specific and detailed to strengthen your arguments. For instance, instead of general statements like 'they can shop online,' mention specific applications or experiences to illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Consider separating the benefits and disadvantages into more clearly delineated paragraphs. This can help the reader easily follow the discussion on each aspect of technology use.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively.

task achievement

You provided a balanced view, acknowledging both the potential benefits and the drawbacks of technology use. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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People now overuse technology, which induces negative effects, do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?