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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
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According to some cultures,
children
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 should be taught that hard
work
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 will help them achieve their goals. From my
perspective
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,perspective
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 the advantages of
this
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 practice certainly overweigh the disadvantages as teaching
children
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 to pursue their dreams can make them more motivated and mentally stronger.
However
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, before teaching about it to all
children
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 some disadvantages
such
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 as demotivation and lack of confidence should be considered. On the one hand, the main advantage of teaching
children
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 to overcome their limits with effort is the possibility to give them the motivation to change their current circumstances in life.
For instance
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, in Brazil, one of the best ways of overcoming poverty is through studies, which is challenging and time-consuming, when
children
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 understand that hard
work
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 results in success and can change their life, they could stay motivated during difficult times.
Moreover
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, the valorization of discipline helps
children
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 to develop a positive mentality and improve their resilience, all of which are necessary for their adult life.
On the other hand
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, one of the biggest disadvantages of teaching that effort alone is enough to achieve everything the child wants is that he can make them spend much time pursuing the goal that hard-working plays little role.
For example
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, for kids who want to be a professional singer or a soccer player, even though they spend a lot of time and money in classes, and put effort without natural talent, their dream is unlikely to happen.
Thus
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, believing that hard
work
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 alone is enough to achieve all desires can breed frustration, delusion, or even mental illness. In conclusion, teaching
children
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 that hard
work
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 will always result in success is a great way to motivate them and build resilience.
However
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, it is important to explain that in some situations hard
work
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 is not the key.
Submitted by raquel.santosprudente on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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